Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

“Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe.”

We have all heard this saying before and yet it has taken me years to realize how true it is! I had an amazing tribe growing up. I had plans every weekend and most days in between. We showed up and showed interest in what everyone was doing. We were involved in each other’s families. We stood up and stood with each other when things seemed tough. If you messed with one of us, you messed with all of us. It was a clique. But it was really a great one.

I left my hometown and my tribe less than a week after I graduated from high school, but every break, holiday, or opportunity, I was there. We continued to be friends and to enjoy each other (I am still friends with several of them now). We had traditions and they were my people. I made a couple of new friends in my new places, but that wasn’t my tribe, they were a select few friends.

As time went on, life really took a turn: marriage and kids! And that was it. My old tribe of friends was completely secondary to my new tribe: my family! My family was created quickly and unexpectedly. My husband and I traveled at the beginning of our marriage, and we moved several times in the first two years. We finally landed here in Chattanooga and it was time to find another tribe of friends. But this time I needed to find friends while being married with three small kids!

Adult friending is crazy hard. I mean do you talk to the other mom at Target? Or the lady next to you also getting a mani/pedi? Or maybe I should reach out to the Starbucks cashier? Other than running errands, I was not making time to meet anyone, anywhere…like where was I supposed to do that and when???? We were here in this town for months and we still had no friends, no tribe.

So I began to take a closer look at myself. IF “your vibe attracts your tribe” was true, I must not be sending out friendly vibes because according to cause and effect, if I were, I would be making friends. There were people that I talked to but not friends.

I decided there needed to be a change and the change needed to be me!

This revelation was great, but not easy. I had to admit that I always put my plans and procedures before people. I want to pencil people on to my “to do” list, but people are unpredictable, even needy. (Note to self: I am needy too.) People are organic; they change, and cancel plans and stuff. I realized the vibe I was putting off was that I was busy, too busy for people, and so I was attracting NO ONE.

Without much other option I decided to change the vibe! I began reaching out to people, setting up times to meet and invest. I started asking about their lives and genuinely connecting. I’m still not great at empathy, but I enjoy listening (I really do care), and problem solving, and investing in others lives!

As this change began to happen in me…guess what!?!?!? I started attracting a tribe! A tribe of friends who genuinely care about me. A tribe of friends who will help me with my kids. A tribe that comes over for dinner. A tribe that drops off their kids and allows me to do that too when I need a helping hand. A tribe that prays for us and with us. A tribe of like-minded, loving, caring, genuine couples and families.

And I think it was all born out of changing my vibe to reflect the kind of tribe I was longing for!

• Your vibe will attract your tribe! You will find people who are like you, and you will like it! So if you are struggling or feeling disconnected…check your vibe!

• If you need a tribe, check your vibe.

• If you don’t like your tribe, check your vibe. You are probably more like them than you want to admit.

• If you don’t fit in or are feeling disconnected in your tribe, check your vibe!

Moral to the story…the quote is true…

Your vibe attracts your tribe!!