Sometimes as a mom you just have nothing to say. You have completely run out of any advice, any motivation, any fuel…anything and everything. It is literally like your brain has come to a point where it really just doesn’t have anything left. I call this “mom fog.”
It is kind of like writer’s block, except mom fog can seem to last a lot longer. I don’t know if it is because we run on fumes or we literally have run out of anything to say, but I feel mom fog can happen to us at any moment.
Mom fog is happening to me right now.
It isn’t like I am not enjoying motherhood; I just feel “blah” right now. Life has been sucked out of me for the moment. I feel like I have nothing left to give right now and I could just stare at a blank wall for hours.
Is it because I am tired of motherhood?
In a way, maybe. I love being a mom and a stepmom, but right now, I think I am a little tired. I am tired of worrying about what my teenagers are getting into, I am tired of answering my three-year-old’s many questions about life, I am tired of being everything to everyone right now: a cook, a cleaner, a therapist, a chauffeur, a maid, etc.
What happened to Elizabeth?
Let me tell you. Back in the day, Elizabeth was a very fun girl. She was never a morning person, and that has certainly not changed, but she used to have energy, want to dress up, want to workout, want to wear clothes that didn’t include a big t-shirt and yoga pants. Elizabeth would text her friends constantly, sending them “Happy Day” messages. She would meet up with friends a couple days a week and would sing and dance in the house just because.
Slowly, I feel like Elizabeth is slipping away and a “mom-bie” has appeared. The “mom version” of Elizabeth is okay, but she is definitely not what I originally thought she would look like. For starters, I thought the mom-version of Elizabeth would have a ton more energy. She would be taking the kids to the park constantly, making crafts on a weekly basis, and definitely not sticking an iPad in front of her toddler in order to get things done.
When it came to teenagers, Elizabeth as a mom would be the cool mom. The one who remembered how much she hated a curfew and would be more understanding of what they were going through. Let me just tell you right now that I am pretty sure Elizabeth is a little bit more strict than her own mom, especially with her teenagers. She wants the when, where, why questions answered every time a teenager wants to go out. And, if she doesn’t get it, she is taken from “mom-bie” to “nag-bie.” Believe me, the nagging mom is not a fun one to be, but I cannot help myself. Instead of understanding what it was like to be a teenager, my brain flashes back to what I was doing as a teenager, so I am on top of my teenagers when I have them, which is probably why they are spending more time with their real mom than with me.
I don’t know. Are you ever just absolutely tired?
Are you too tired to be a mom, too tired to be yourself, just too tired? I guess that is the moment that I am in now as a mom. I hope it doesn’t last too long because I don’t want to miss the big moments right around the corner. My oldest is about to go to her first prom and my son is getting ready for pre-k in the fall. I know these moments I am going to want back, but I hate that I am literally just too tired to enjoy them.
